Now, I have always wanted to do a "Top Ten" list like Letterman (don't ask me why, I don't know)....but unlike Letterman, I hope my Top Ten of 2010 gives your laugh muscles a bit more of a workout...(if you don't laugh, please don't go and blog about how "not funny" my list was, it will hurt my feelings and probably end up on my Top Ten of 2011)...
So, you all ready? Let's do this....
10. Lady Ga-Ga's meat costume...She really got beef'd up! (har, har, har...) Seriously, she got "fried" for that (get it, fried?), but I give her props...I would be thinking E-coli the whole time, not to mention the fact that the meat had to start smelling...Blah...Good thing this is not one of those scratch-n-sniff blogs...
9. Saw XXVVIII (Saw 28)....in case you want to lose your dinner and your date, take her to see a Saw movie. I can't even watch the first few minutes of them....not sure what scares me the most, that this can happen or that someone keeps thinking up ways to torture people or the people that are entertained by these movies. Hmmm...all of them? Some of my closest friends (got to keep them as friends, if you know what I mean...) are Saw fanatics...
8. Jessie the Jerk...Need I mention a last name? Who the heck cheats on Sandra Bullock? He obviously doesn't deserve her...The Outlaw should be Outlaw'd...Oh, Sandy...(say it with a John Travolta voice from Grease...go ahead, OOOh, Sandy...)...There is only one team...Team Sandy.
7. Lucky number seven...Josh Taylor's Christmas Lights. We don't have money for food to feed our kids, but dang, our Christmas lights look sic! (Sic is not misspelled, it actually doesn't even mean under the weather, but in 2010 it means "good" or "uber good"....)
6. Roots are okay to show...not the roots in the ground, my friends, or the book "Roots", but the "my hair isn't really blonde" roots. So apparently the fad of going to get your hair colored every 4-6 weeks so you actually "look" like a natural blonde is out of style...it is now cool to show the world that you are indeed a brunette in disguise. Hmmm, so I guess I should have laughed when my daughter asked me why my hair was black and blonde and not run to the phone to call the salon to get my "do" adjusted....Take a look at Drew Barrymore...rock on sista! Embrace your roots...all of them!!!
5. Electric Cars....not sure when these bad boys actually surfaced, but in 2010, I saw a few around town, here in tiny old Stow, Ohio! Now, every time I see them, I imagine two things (not in any particular order)...first, I imagine the owners feet protruding from the bottom making the tiny car go--like the Flinstones. The second thing I imagine is that I am running next to the Flinstonemobile and actually beating it...and I ain't that fast of a runner! Well, at least they make me smile every time I see them....
4. Quitness... yea, you knew it was coming, I bet you thought it was going to be number one...but sheesh, I am not that much of a sports fan. I could get carpal tunnel syndrome just by naming all the jokes associated with Lebron James...so I won't go there. Okay, maybe just one...Why did Lebron head down South? Because his mother went West! (And I say this with the utmost respect to the West family...)
3. Hugh Hefner engaged to a 24 year old hottie....The man is like one day older than dirt! Like is Viagra even strong enough for that. It makes me get the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. It is also making my husband think he is going to be able to get a 24 year old hottie when he is ancient...keep dreaming honey! I don't get it...but I won't spend too much time trying....
2. Ooooh, we're getting close to numero uno....the runner-up is: The Gulf of Mexico oil spill...I heard about it all summer long, shared my concern with the folks down in Florida and the lower 48....now I can't even find out how they fixed it, or did they? Whatever happened to it? Is the oil contained...someone let me know! What about the birds, and the turtles...how are they doing? I get more information on Britney Spears love life than I do on this issue...
1. The number one Top Ten of 2010 is (drum roll please...oh wait, I need my own late night show for that...maybe next year!): Bieber Fever...Baby, Baby, Baby...oh! He started to gain popularity in the end of 2009, but exploded to superstar status in 2010.....and is now a household name! I got the Bieber Fever too, is that wrong? Hey, I am not as old as Hefner...okay?
Well, there it is...my "Top Ten" list of 2010...hope you got a few laughs from it.
Let's hope 2011 brings some good material and when I mean good, I mean non-tragedy good. I would love some feel-good stories like the Justin Bieber story....a you-tube sensation becomes a huge star. That's what I want more of in 2011!!!
Oh, and Letterman, your "Top Ten" list can kiss it....
No comments:
Post a Comment